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Ectera

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Animal Life

5 min read
I have to admit right now I feel pretty out of it, and sort of angry at how some people can be so uncareing in this world! It makes me wonder, maybe I'm the weird one for careing about things like animal life? Because today i found out that alot of people don't really care about if an animal dies or not..
Today for me was pretty traumatic, it started nicely my friend sam coming round to pick me up so we could go shopping but when she got to my place she told me she had accidently run over a lizard further down the road.
Of course we both went to see if it was alright, when we arrived we found the farely large lizard (a blue tongue) at theside of the road still living but bleeding and having thrown-up everywhere, it looked in alot of pain, instantly we both knew we had to bring it to the vet. At this time my neighbour comes driving up the road stops his car and I explain whats happened. His response, "Blue tongue lizards get run over all the time, it'll be fine just put it in the bushes" I completely freeze up because I can't beleive what he is saying to me, my response, "It's bleeding and its thrown up all its guts, it can't move." again he tells me to just 'put it in the bushes' I have an extremely hard time holding my temper, just nodding and letting him drive off before turning to Sam, "We're bringing him to the vets, theres no way he has even a chance of living if we leave him here."
We find a plastic bag to pick him up with (he was bleeding so we needed something) and because Sam was too scared to touch the lizard I end up picking it up and placing it on my lap in the car, the poor little guy trying to move around and making these weird little noises. Half way to the vet the lizard relieves its bladder and bowls (thankgod the plastic bag was there) and I knew by this point he had no chance of living. Yet he kept moving about, his head out of the bag bleeding and inside the bag its full of blood and the animals own waste.
Time felt like forever until we reached the vet, I couldnt stop shaking and feeling sick, but we got the lizard there, it was still alive infact lizards are pretty hardy so it would have been dying for hours if we hadn't got it. The vet looked at him straight away and instantly said he'd have to put the lizard down. Its head had been too badly hit and the jaw was shattered. Sam and I go silent, and of course sam is feeling horrible because she was the one who ran it over.
The vet tells us we did the right thing in bringing him in, and that atleast now he can put it down in the most painless way, that blue tongue lizards like to sunbake on roads and that most people wouldnt have bothered bringing one in. We leave and...god...I just couldnt shake the feeling. I've never held something in my hands before that was dying. A little life, so in pain and on the verge of life and death.
I felt so sick and sad, even as we shopped I just felt like I was completely disjointed from reality, seeing death before my eyes...it really scared me.

I go to work at night and I'm feeling depressed about it, my co-workers ask me whats wrong and I explain what happened most are pretty understanding and then this one kitchen hand (an older woman) tells me 'its just a lizard, who cares' I feel this rush of rage, and it reminds me of my stupid neighbour who just wanted me to move it into the bushes so it could lie there dying or be pecked at by the birds. I leave it, because there really is no point into getting into an argument with someone I work with but....I just dont know why some people are SO uncareing?
Sure a lizard may not have the intelligence of a human or the same emotional understandings, BUT it still feels pain! Should not every living being be put out of misery if its able to be? Is a human more important then a lizard because they can verbally word their pain? What about people who become brain-dead, arent they technically not worth careing about if we put them on the same basis of 'they can't verbally tell you they're in pain' 'they dont show emotions' or 'they can't communicate with us'. If you start saying shit like 'its just a lizard' then that just shows you have no bare bloody human compassion. I dont care if its a lizard, a bird, a dog, cat, zebra, tiger or human, every being deserves compassion.
I think the most powerful emotion human beings have is compassion, its what makes us at the top of the animal kingdom because we are able to show compassion.

Arghhh I rant but...no matter if a life is big or small, I think they are all important.
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Update XDD

3 min read
I have to admit...I'm partly writing this so I can replace the other journal on my page! But I do have a few things I'd like to chat about ^^

First off, and foremost, I would like to write here how much I ADORE my friend Shanae! Bloodirose on here, if you've stopped to read this you should really go check her art out ^^
I've known Shanae since I was in grade four, and although we didn't get on at first, she became to be my best friend! We have had our falling outs and periodes of not talking to eachother. But friendship prevails, and I can honestly say, she is one of the dearest people to me. Love you Shanaee <33

She actually drew a picture of Tash and I as guys! fav.me/d322nk7
I think Tash and I still look pretty girly though...but my facial features are very feminine so she did the best with what she had. I'm sorry i'm such a girl Shanae!

On another note, I blew all the money I saved for contacts for the Tsukasa cosplay... I really need to work on holding onto my money...Tash, Skye and I went shopping..and well I had to get collection 2 of D.gray man...damn you anime!
Tash also spent 140 dollars in a tea shop, she bought a new tea set and two types of tea. When we got home she made some and because it was only her and I, she kept filling my cup everytime I finished, I ended up feeling a little sick after 5 cups..

As for the breast cancer thing, I had the ultrasound today! I guess it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be...but I made Tash come in with me. And when I was meant to get undressed I left my bra on, and the womans like's "have to remove that too" I felt like such an idiot! But I was shakeing really bad, and so nervious..I made so many mistakes, the bra thing and I left my health care card in the car o_O
Tash was really sweet and rubbed my arm when i was shakeing, and then I had to lean on some weird thing and let the woman rub jelly stuff on my breast...it was insanely weird...I don't ever want to do it again.
Anyway, I get the results on wednesday...so um guys, wish me the best please!
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I know this is a really random thing to write about...but I just have to get it off my chest, because I feel really anxious and bleh.
Yesturday my family brought Natasha and I out to an Indian resturant for our brithday (two weeks late, but atleast it happened) anyway I had a genuine fun time, the food was really good and the lay out was really pretty.
One of the male waiters kept coming over and talking to us, and I thought he was just being friendly then he called me a 'sweet girl' and went off, i turned to Tash whispering fairly loudly, 'i think he's hitting on me', I was really just joking, because the comment had made me feel uncomfortable.
Anyway, my Dad goes up to pay the bill, an when he comes back he's like "thats funny that guy asked for your name and age" of course Dad gave it to him...Dad doesnt wanna look rude.
But then I joke saying "Great now he can find me over facebook" and guess what happens?
He has sent me a request on facebook, I really don't know how to react and I feel anxious, I really dislike guys coming on too strong and I feel asking my Dad for my name and age was fairly shameless.

The last few weeks I've been complaining strongly with my friends about being single, I even told Tash, "I'm going to die alonee" Tash's response was that I turn down everyone who is intrested and that as soon as someone flirts I switch off. At first I denied it, but then one of my male friends started talking to me suggestivly and then searched me out at a con, I freaked out, feeling very weird. I now know Tash is right...

I really feel strange when people call me 'pretty' or compliment my looks, if people try to get close to me, and sometimes even when people touch me, simply as a hug. Especially guys, I don't know where this sudden anxiety has come from and it worries me...
My last boyfriend cheated on me, and I can't help but think that I've unconsciously put a barrier up. Or even more, i don't know if I even LIKE guys anymore, I call myself 'bisexual' but urh.. I don't know anymore.
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Stole from Jess's journal XD
1. Put your iTunes on shuffle (Or Mp3 Player, or whatever you use)
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS
4. Tag at least 10 friends who might enjoy doing the game as well as the person you got the note from.

1) IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY
"You're Pitiful" -Weird Al (lmao...oh im a nice person.)

2) WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Burial Applicant -The Gazette (ummm in other words that would be suicidal right?)

3) WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Engel -Nightwish (Engel means angel XD so angelicness?)

4) HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Uzumaki chormosome -An Cafe (Omg what!! Naruto genes? Well...I did feel like having ramen and I'm pretty energetic and I'm sure I've done several stupid things.... ahh Datebaiyo!)

5) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Pairings -An Cafe (dateing people?? :S)

6) WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
"We can get there" -Mary Griffins (I didnt even know i had this on my computer :S)

7) WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Smells like teen spirit -Nirvana (:S they think that?)

8) WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Mizerable -Gackt (this is really making me out to be a depressive person..)

9) WHAT IS 2+2?
Better of Two Evils -Marilyn Manson (sorta...makes sense..)

10) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Killing me -Larc en Ciel (LMAO tis not true!)

11) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Honey -Larc en Ciel (as in pet name??)

12) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Without Fear -Lacuna Coil (Ohhh i like that)

13) WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Californication -Red Hot Chilli Peppers (:S okay?)

14) WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Your Guardian Angel -The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (XD)

15) WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Falling away from me -Korn (I love this song)

16) WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Already Gone -Eagles (haha very fitting)

17) WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Somebody Someone -Korn (LMAO stalker?)

18) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
In Bloom -Nirvana (mwuahaha so cryptic)

19) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Escapism -An Cafe (lols..oh im so nice)

20) WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
In The Air -Larc en Ciel (dying in a plane crash? :S)

21) HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Lost Heaven -Larc en Ciel (jeez a lot of larc en ciel songs are coming up..)

22) WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Change -Deftones (So...so very true)

23) WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Time goes on -Larc en ciel (:S)

24) WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
All the things she said -Tatu (hmm whos the she)

25) WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
the golden age of grotesque -Marilyn Manson (I'll take that as a no..)

26) WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Nothing else matters -Metallica (lols then being scared?)

27) DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Wild Thing -The Diviynls (a clue to who..)

28) IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Sodomy and Lust -Cradle of Filth (no...i dont think id change that XD)

29) WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Mutilation is the most sincere form of flattery -Marilyn Manson (-blinks- they're onto me)

30) WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS JOURNAL AS?
Going to Calfornia -Led Zepplin

Hmm should I tag?? *pokes Shanae, Tash, Ash and Sammy*
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Tag thing :)

3 min read
1. Post these rules.
2. Each tagged person must post 10 things about themselves on their journal.
3. At the end, you have to choose and tag people and post their icons on the same journal.
4. Go to their pages and send a message saying you tagged them.
5. No tag-backs.

things about me
1. I'm an identical twin
2. I'm a bit of an otaku
3. i dropped out of school in year 11
4. i've been lead actress in a play
5. i have a cert 2 in hairdressing
6. I'm meant to wear glasses
7. I have BPD
8. I'm bisexual
9. I'm obsessed with cats
10.I'd do Keith Richards despite him being like 60

TEN things you wish you could say to TEN different people right now:
10. I feel like bubble tea, boxhill time?
9. I'm going to steal you'r 'hottie' cap :P
8. You should work less and come on more often!
7. Let's start some vision scitsophrenia!
6. Can we be in the bath while making the bear soap?
5. Why won't you go and have kittens?
4. I know what you were doing out there in the forest all night...
3. Bella doesn't wipe, do something about it!
2. Let's swap clothes again sometime soon!
1. .... *glares*

EIGHT ways to win your heart:

8. Be into jrock
7. Adore David Bowie, the Beatles and The Rolling Stones
6. Like Manga and Anime
5. Be into alternative clothing
4. Like cats
3. Adore me lols
2. Keep things intresting
1. Be friends with my twin


SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot:

7. Naruto/Bleach/Vampire Knight (manga's updateing)
6. Saki (my cat)
5. food
4. sleep
3. Tash
2. my past
1. perverted things

SIX people who mean a lot at the moment:<.b>

6. Natasha
5. Shanae
4. Steph
3. Amila/Ash
2. Jess
1. Sammy


EIGHT songs that you listen to often lately:

1. Glamorous Sky - Mika NakaShima and Hyde's version
2. Rock n Roll Suicide - David Bowie
3. Looking Through You - The Beatles
4. Psychokiller - Talking Heads
5. Life on Mars - David Bowie
6. What goes around - Justin Timberlake
7. Dead Bodies everywhere - Korn
8. All in the family - Korn

As for tagging things...I don't know how to put up icons so I pick..
1. Shanae
2. Tash
3. Sammy
4. Steph
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